Moving out of your home country and settling into another is an experience that is romanticized by most people. The positives often seem to outweigh the tribulations of the process— yet moving away is never easy. The process of change is an intimidating one; hence, most people forget to pay heed to the minor inconveniences faced as they begin to adapt to the exotic idiosyncrasies of the foreign world.
My first day in the United States, I was picked up by my school shuttle. After loading my things in the trunk, I proceeded to sit in the front. I opened the left seat just to be greeted by the driver", Samman Shakya recollects.
As amusing as this story is, it is common for Nepalis to get confused with the traffic norms abroad. The driver's seat on the left and driving lane on the right is the exact opposite of what we have in Nepal—making for a very puzzling few days for newcomers.
Overwhelmingly, just about every Nepali abroad, I talked to misses Nepali food. Often, the food available to them is bland and lacks the typical spice palate we are used to. Buying these spices is impractical since they are inaccessible—in terms of price and availability. "The choices are an illusion", remarks Meghna Karmacharya, elaborating on how in the absence of our default daal bhat, one has to actively work towards creating a balanced diet to ensure all the nutrition criteria are being met. This habit is tough to maintain since it requires time and effort, which are seldom available.
Nepal is built on the metric system like the rest of the world. The US, on the other hand, exempts itself from this rule and uses the imperial system. Newly moved inhabitants thus find themselves lost trying to navigate their way around units of everyday quantities—Fahrenheit, miles, pounds, to name a few. Another trivial but irksome inconvenience for fellow Asians abroad is the absence of bidets in the washroom.
On a more serious note, being detached from a tight-knit community makes one feel alienated. "What I miss the most is this very particular kind of familiarity or comfort with people that I believe to be specific to Nepali people. There's this automatic instinct to share and act as one", Meghna emphasizes. Elaborating more on the matter, she adds, "It's hard to put where this instinct comes into play, but a few examples I can think of is when sharing food at a restaurant. In Nepal, I feel like we wouldn't tiptoe on trying each other's orders without the specification of it being for the table."
Coming from a country so small, we tend to take the proximity of things for granted. Speaking more on the issue, Meghna responds, "Another thing I miss particularly about Kathmandu is how near EVERYTHING is. Friends, food and things to do. I used to think a friend that lived half an hour away was way too long, but now, that's only a blip in time because everyone is so much more spread out. Many students move to these colleges in small towns away from cities, and I think it's a common feeling for people from Nepal to feel like they're floating in the middle of nowhere. Particularly speaking for the US, most places are made for cars and not people. Without a car and public transportation outside of huge cities, you can only go so far. Everything is spaced out, making you feel isolated without a car. Uber is expensive, and I miss pathao!"
Except for the obvious positive changes like infrastructure improvements, there is also a massive cultural shift—pleasant or otherwise. "A positive change I have felt is that I feel a little far away from judgment", explains Meghna. Kathmandu is a small city with many known faces. As an aftermath, the way you behave is always under a magnifying glass. "After knowing Nepali people here in the US, you truly understand the saying, "everyone knows everyone in Kathmandu". Here, I think you can grow a facet of yourself away from judgment and be less on edge when wearing something that might be considered not so acceptable by those around you. While I acknowledge people in Nepal are becoming a little more open-minded, you can't deny that judgment is a huge factor in confining ourselves to expression in Nepal", she further rationalizes.
Whether you spend your time opening doors on the left or feeling liberated from the constraints of our society, it is within these convolutions that one gains perspective.
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